When I shared the link to my friends I borrowed the name of a hilarious recently released book, 'Go the fuck to sleep' by Adam Mansbach. To hear the original version, narrated by Samuel L. Jackson (how awesome is that?!), check out this linky here... I hope it stays up, it seems the YouTube clips are being pulled down faster than a speeding toddler.
After listening to SLJ reading this book it struck me just how similar the feelings of tiredness and exasperation are between parents of non-sleeping children, and all of us living here in Shakeytown. So here's my version... non-censored (just like the book), 'cos some words need to be said/written without any bleeping, especially when living in an active seismic zone.
Dear Mother Nature: Go the fuck to sleep
(adapted from the book by Adam Mansbach)
The cats nestle close to their kittens
The lambs have laid down with the sheep
We're cosy and warm in our bed, Mother Nature
Please go the fuck to sleep.
The windows are dark in the town now
The power's off down in the deep
I'm trying to read my book when I swear
Will you go the fuck to sleep?
The choppers that soar through the sky are at rest
And the machines that crawl, crush and sweep
Will you stop? This is bullshit. We're crying.
Settle the fuck down, Mother Nature, and sleep.
The wind whispers soft through the cordon fence
The Red Zone, it makes not a peep
It's been nine & a half months already,
Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Go to sleep.
All the kids in the house are in dreamland
As the sewers continue to leak.
Hell no, you can't go to the toilet.
You know where you can go? The portaloo, out on the street.
The houses they fall from the clifftops
Through the air, dust soars above the heap
A hot crimson rage fills my heart, land
For real, give this shit up and sleep.
The pups and the dogs are snoring.
Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.
Haven't we coped with enough of this shit?
Won't you quiet the fuck down and sleep?
The silt comes up through the earth now
And the farmers clear the city streets
No more rumbles. We're all over it.
I've got two words for you planet: fucking sleep.
The people vacate the worst-hit suburbs
Their possessions left all in a heap
Fuck you earthquakes, you broke all my shit
Stop the shakes. Cut the crap. Sleep.
The houses lie ruined on the flat-lands
And high on the hillsides so steep
My city's in ruins, you're a shitty-ass planet
Stop fucking shaking, please, let me sleep.
The politicians in Wellington are snoozing
As we lie here and openly weep
Sure, fine, whatever, I'll have some more wine
Who the fuck cares? I'm not going to sleep.
My city I try to remember
Old streetscapes now just memories to keep
You shake. Cat escapes and runs down the hall
And I wonder if I ever will sleep.
Bleary and dazed I awaken
To another day shaking, so I keep
My fingers crossed tight as I stay in my bed
And pray for some more fucking sleep.
I wish we were watching a movie
Faultline's on a timer. Beep.
Oh shit. Goddamn it. You've gotta be kidding
Mother Nature, go the fuck back to sleep!
Arts Centre Clock Tower