Dear Mother Nature: Go the f*** to sleep!

There's a cool little project just starting up which asks quake-shaken C-city residents to write a letter to Mother Nature. Writings will be collated and used as the basis for a short film currently titled "Dear Mother Nature" - you can find out more about the project (& submit your letter) via this Films of Afternoon facebook page.

When I shared the link to my friends I borrowed the name of a hilarious recently released book, 'Go the fuck to sleep' by Adam Mansbach. To hear the original version, narrated by Samuel L. Jackson (how awesome is that?!), check out this linky here... I hope it stays up, it seems the YouTube clips are being pulled down faster than a speeding toddler.

After listening to SLJ reading this book it struck me just how similar the feelings of tiredness and exasperation are between parents of non-sleeping children, and all of us living here in Shakeytown. So here's my version... non-censored (just like the book), 'cos some words need to be said/written without any bleeping, especially when living in an active seismic zone.

Dear Mother Nature: Go the fuck to sleep

(adapted from the book by Adam Mansbach)

The cats nestle close to their kittens

The lambs have laid down with the sheep

We're cosy and warm in our bed, Mother Nature

Please go the fuck to sleep.

The windows are dark in the town now

The power's off down in the deep

I'm trying to read my book when I swear

Will you go the fuck to sleep?

The choppers that soar through the sky are at rest

And the machines that crawl, crush and sweep

Will you stop? This is bullshit. We're crying.

Settle the fuck down, Mother Nature, and sleep.

The wind whispers soft through the cordon fence

The Red Zone, it makes not a peep

It's been nine & a half months already,

Jesus Christ, what the fuck? Go to sleep.

All the kids in the house are in dreamland

As the sewers continue to leak.

Hell no, you can't go to the toilet.

You know where you can go? The portaloo, out on the street.

The houses they fall from the clifftops

Through the air, dust soars above the heap

A hot crimson rage fills my heart, land

For real, give this shit up and sleep.

The pups and the dogs are snoring.

Wrapped in a big snuggly heap.

Haven't we coped with enough of this shit?

Won't you quiet the fuck down and sleep?

The silt comes up through the earth now

And the farmers clear the city streets

No more rumbles. We're all over it.

I've got two words for you planet: fucking sleep.

The people vacate the worst-hit suburbs

Their possessions left all in a heap

Fuck you earthquakes, you broke all my shit

Stop the shakes. Cut the crap. Sleep.

The houses lie ruined on the flat-lands

And high on the hillsides so steep

My city's in ruins, you're a shitty-ass planet

Stop fucking shaking, please, let me sleep.

The politicians in Wellington are snoozing

As we lie here and openly weep

Sure, fine, whatever, I'll have some more wine

Who the fuck cares? I'm not going to sleep.

My city I try to remember

Old streetscapes now just memories to keep

You shake. Cat escapes and runs down the hall

And I wonder if I ever will sleep.

Bleary and dazed I awaken

To another day shaking, so I keep

My fingers crossed tight as I stay in my bed

And pray for some more fucking sleep.

I wish we were watching a movie

Faultline's on a timer. Beep.

Oh shit. Goddamn it. You've gotta be kidding

Mother Nature, go the fuck back to sleep!

 Arts Centre Clock Tower